(JUNE 22 – JULY 22)
Cancer, quit being such a crab! As a water sign, your moodiness tends to drown out other peoples feelings. However, Cancerians are also known as the shy members of the Zodiac and even as often are thought of as the most sentimental and caring of the bunch … can someone say bipolar? As these characteristics ebb and flow throughout the signs members, you end up with two Cancers, side by side, that although are equally loveable, are like night and day. Please read on ….
(JUNE 22, 1976)
PHONE+ Publisher Mike Saxby is proud to represent the astrological enigma that is Cancer. In June, he celebrated 30 years 10 of which have been spent indentured to Virgo Publishing, or what some refer to as Mrs. Saxby. Once a computer science major and Arizona State racquetball champion, Saxby now spends most of his free time wrestling with his dogs, editing his Netflix queue and consulting with his Magic 8-ball.
Although Cancer is usually cautious, Saxby will tell you he chooses to live on the edge! In elementary school, he joined a dance troupe (puffy shirt required) to impress a girl; and in college, he lost a bet on how many beers he could shotgun in three minutes, which resulted in him having to shave his head. Consequently, his hair never grew back, which explains the unmistakable coif he sports today!
(JULY 10, 1966)
As the saying goes … everybody loves a good story. Thats why so many in the industry look to PHONE+ Editor in Chief Khali Henderson for the latest and greatest reporting. She epitomizes this Zodiac sign Cancer has been referred to as the great storyteller, the town crier and the soothsayer. The planets have aligned to make Khali a dedicated, diligent worker and a compassionate, close friend to many. In keeping with Cancers wild imagination, Khali is a science fiction nut! Her husband, Casey, will tell you that although she personally is one of the most grounded-in-reality people youll ever meet, shell tell you that Farscape is the best television series ever created, that Enders Game is the best book ever written and The Neanderthal Parallax is the best trilogy ever written. She is presently hooked on the new Battlestar Galactica series. Happy Birthday to our favorite techno geek!
Best Day to Ask for a Loan:
Best Day to Harass Your Superiors: JULY 18
Best Day to Give a Compliment: JULY 28
Planetary Prediction: One day, youll be too late for work to turn back to see if you actually did close the garage door that will be the day you left it open.
Tele-Scope Submissions: If youre up for lampooning your buddy for his or her birthday and would like to see him or her featured in this column, send me a name, company name, date of birth and some good dirt! email@example.com